In My Life

Earth to Mother Nature...

2008-03-28T12:17:41Z

Fuck this snow.

Someone really needs to hand Mother Nature a calendar, point out the date, and say "Hello! It's almost April! Enough with the snow already!"

And then smack her up the head with something sharp and pointy.

Quickie....

2008-03-24T15:14:57Z

Well, that has to be one of the shortest break-ups on record.

Long story short, we spent the entire weekend talking and hashing things out, and just being straight up HONEST with each other in a way we've never done before. I was right; he was doing everything he could to push me away because of his health issues, because he doesn't see what he has to offer me, because he thinks he should be taking care of me instead of the other way around. He told me he got scared when I moved in, and that's why he behaved the way he did all this time. He said he's hated himself for it, because he does love me and wants to be with me, but he thought at the time it was his only option. We hashed out what we need to work on together - he's going to work on being more communicative with me, and I'm going to work on being more adventurous with him - and I feel like we're really committed in a way that we weren't before.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all a quick update. Thank you for all the support when it seemed like things were definitely over. I have the best friends on the planet. :)

80s meme

2008-03-22T01:57:12Z

1. How old were you in 1980?
7

2. How old were you in 1989?
16

3. Were you a Toys R' US Kid?
Yep - I can remember my mom taking us to Toys R' Us to pick out toys.

4. Did you watch Transformers?
No.

5. Did you see E.T. on the big screen?
Yes. And I cried at the end.

6. Did you own a Lite Bright?
Yes. I loved that thing.

7. Who is your Favorite Golden Girl?
Sophia, because she had the smartest mouth out of all of them.

8. if you hear " Who you gonna call", you think?
Ghostbusters, of course!

9.What was your favorite toy(S)?
Definitely Barbie.

10. Did you have a Pogo Ball?
No.

11. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
Yes.

12. What New Kid did you have a crush on?
Jonathan.

13. Did you play M.A.S.H?
No, I played Dukes of Hazzard. But I watched MASH.

14. Did you watch The Care Bears?
I hated the Care Bears; my younger sister was the one into them. I was obsessed with the Smurfs when I was in like fourth grade.

15. Did you have Jelly bracelets?
Oh, yeah - going all the way up both arms.

16. Did you have a charm necklace and/or bracelet?
I had a Biblical charm bracelet that I used to wear to church. I think it had been my mom's when she was little. No idea what happened to it.

17. Did you have a Glo Worm?
No.

18. Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
Yeah, we used to have fun with those things.

19. The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles?
The Breakfast Club.

20. Did you have a crazy hair style?
If you think a mullet is a crazy haircut, then yeah. I had that for a couple of years, then got the big permed do.

21. What was your first bike?
Don't remember what kind it was, but it had the banana seat and the streamers on the handlebars.

22. Name one thing you still own from your childhood.
My Sweet Valley High books.

23. Did you have a Cabbage Patch Kid?
No, but my sister had three.

24. Did you dress like Madonna?
I used to wear the jelly bracelets and the rags tied in my hair like she did.

25. Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake.

26. Did you watch Miami Vice?
YES. I had the biggest crush on Don Johnson back in the day.

27. Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes/ parachute pants?
Jelly shoes. No parachute pants that I can remember. But I had tons of pairs of jelly shoes.

28. Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
I got a new one at the start of every school year.

29. Atari or Nintendo?
Atari since Nintendo wasn't around yet.

30. Did you play Pac-Man?
Yep. I used to be good at it too.

31. Which was better: Jem or Barbie and the Rockers?
Jem.

32. He-Man or She-Ra?
She-Ra.

33. What movie scared you the most?
I don't remember, I was never into scary movies.

34. Did you try to dance like Michael Jackson?
Yeah, I used to be able to do the moonwalk pretty good.

35. What Is The First Thing That Comes To Mind When You Hear "Flux Compasitor?
A DeLorean car.

36. What other colors did Pepsi come in?
I don't know. I only remember regular Pepsi - when it used to come in the glass bottles. I used to go with my mom to the grocery store with the empty bottles - she'd put them on a conveyor belt and it would take them to the back room where the store would send them off for recycling.

37. Roger Rabbit Or Howard The Duck?
Roger Rabbit. I HATED Howard the Duck.

38. Did you ever beg your parents to have your school picture taken with the "LAZER" in the background?
No, I don't even know what that is.

39. Do you know what the Ninja Rap is?
No clue.

40. Do you know why people cringe when they hear the word BUCKNER?
No.

41. Can you name the family members from National Lampoons Vacation ?
Clark, Ellen, Rusty, and Audrey Griswold

42. Wally-World or Europe?
Wally World, without a doubt!

43. What was your favorite movie from the 80's?
Tie between "Pretty in Pink" and "Dirty Dancing."

Interesting bit from Peter's advice column

2008-03-22T01:18:00Z

For those of you who might not know, Peter Tork has an advice column here:

http://www.thedailypanic.com/askpetertork.html

I've read three of his columns, and he is perfect for the job. At any rate, I saw today he had a new column up, so I started reading it and found a bit he had written that struck home with me considering my recent break-up with Steve:

You know, as I'm sitting here, typing away, I realize that, while it seems better to be the dumper, it's actually better to be the dumpee in any break-up. That's because if you give your relationships everything, I mean everything you've got, you'll walk away if the other shuts you down knowing you did absolutely everything you could. If you're willing to give that much to a relationship, you'll attract people who want that in their relationships, and who are likelier to give it all they've got. Again and again, my message is, behave as you'd like to be behaved towards. Not so original, actually, but truer for me the older I get. Putting it into practice, now, well, I get that it's far from easy.

Then, in response to another relationship question, he wrote this:

Relationships are, to a certain extent, an effort to make right what felt wrong growing up, and since everybody felt something wrong growing up, everybody carries with them the ideal of what it should have been like, and they carry hope for that in a serious relationship. Of course, it never works out as per the dream. In fact, your job in a relationship is to find what's up with YOU! Every time you sense something wrong in the relationship, it's a part of yourself whose expectations weren't met. Then comes the question of are you going to insist on having those expectations fulfilled, or are you alternatively going to examine the expectations and see whether you can live comfortably without their being fulfilled? Mind you, there's no judgment on the point. If you can't live without certain of your needs being met, and they aren't being met, nor does it look like they ever really will be, you have to move on. No shame. You must take care of yourself in just about all circumstances, finally, because you are the only one who can.

There will always be adjustments in any relationship. Only you can determine whether the fulfillment and joy you may also have are worth the dislocation.

He's definitely given me some food for thought....

It's over....

2008-03-21T03:17:00Z

Steve and I broke up tonight.

We were IMing online, and I asked him about why he didn't invite me to any of his family events anymore. (I haven't seen his parents since Father's Day last year.) He told me it was because he didn't want to, that what he had told me last year still held. Completely confused, I asked him what he was referring to.

That's when he told me that he still was not in love with me.

And that's when I was pretty much poleaxed. We've been spending a lot of time together the last month - pretty much every day this week so far - and things seemed like they were getting back to normal. He was all touchy-feely with me like he used to be, he complimented me on how good I've been looking since I started working out, he's been talking to me and teasing me the way he used to. We had a few moments where he snarked at me, but that doesn't faze me because I know that his health isn't great, and when you're in constant pain, sometimes you lash out.

He told me that he had been trying to see if he could make it work again, and it just wasn't. He likes being with me, I'm fun to be around, and he thinks I'm a nice girl. However, he said that he couldn't live with me again, that I deserve someone who'll be there for me all the time, and I deserve someone better than him. I just don't get how he could act the way he has the last couple of months yet tell me he's not in love with me anymore. He said that he didn't want to hurt me, and he was upset about it too because at one time we did have something good. He doesn't know why his feelings changed; they just did. Judging from some other things he said, I think all of this is coming about because of his health issues, and he doesn't want to tie me down when he's having so much trouble at the moment.

At any rate, we've decided that we both want to be friends, since that's how we started out, and neither of us wants to lose the other's friendship. However, I'm sitting here feeling like my heart's been torn out of my chest, stomped on, set on fire, and shoved right back in. This is my very first break-up, and it's more painful than I ever could have imagined.

I'm going to have to pop a sleeping pill or two, or I'll never get to sleep tonight, and I have to get up for work at 5 am. Tomorrow's going to be a rough day.

Blah

2008-03-19T19:51:47Z

Don't know why, but I'm feeling very tired and blah today. Maybe it's the weather; maybe I'm feeling run down because I'm trying to spread myself amongst too many things and too many people. The only time I have had any real "me" time this week was when I went to the gym and worked out on Monday.

Anyway, here are some random things that have been going on with me:

1. My sister dropped the big bombshell about three weeks ago that she is pregnant. Again. By the same asshat that is Devin's father. He'd been telling her he wanted another baby and she told him no - so he pulled the oldest stunt in the book and told her he was pulling out.

Yeah, right.

So now she's got another baby on the way, and she's got my mom all up in arms. She talks about moving in with Asshat and raising their kids together, then the next minute she doesn't want to have anything to do with him. It's driving my mom nuts because her future is up in the air - she can't afford the apartment by herself, and my grandma won't let her come back to live with her. I'm just trying to stay out of it as much as I can.

2. My dad has to go back into the hospital on April 2 to have a defibrillator put in, to help regulate his heartbeat and give him a shock if (God forbid) he ever goes into cardiac arrest. It's an overnight stay and he'll be going home the next day, but he's peeved because this was supposed to be done back when the bypass was done. The same cardiologist that said back then he didn't need it is the one that is now saying he does. I hate doctors.

3. Steve and I have been spending a lot of time together the last couple of weeks, working on things. He's almost back to his old self, but there are still issues with us due to his pain. I don't know if we'll ever get past them. I do try to understand that he's in pain and I give him a lot of leeway - but there are some times where I just have to put my foot down and tell him that his pain does not give him the right to be an ass. Last night he was talking about going to his parents' house for Easter dinner. My family isn't doing anything for Easter this year because my dad's not up for it, so I said to him, "Am I going with you to your mom's?" His response: "Well, I hadn't planned on it." Luckily that was when I was leaving, and I was tired because it was late. Otherwise I would have let him have it with both barrells - and I'm still considering it. I haven't done anything with his family (outside his kids) for almost a year now and it's pissing me off, big time.

4. My sister brought Devin over yesterday and I spent an hour playing with him - running around chasing him, tickling him, throwing him over my shoulder, the whole 9 yards. He is such a great kid. Even though my sister isn't the brightest crayon in the bunch, bringing that baby into this world has been the best thing she's ever done. He is without a doubt the light of my life.

Almost time to head out of work - catch you all later!

Quick post....

2008-03-14T12:46:09Z

If anyone is interested, I'm participating in the National MS Society's annual walk on April 6. My fundraising goal is $200 - if anyone is interested in making a donation, please go here:

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=4501935&pg=personal&fr_id=8869

I'd certainly appreciate it!

The muse may be returning...

2008-03-12T17:42:34Z

En, you'll be happy to know that I sat down today on my lunch hour and wrote three more pages of the Peter "Bedazzled" fic idea that I told you about a while ago....:)

I'm hoping to get more done this weekend, so I can actually start posting to LT again. It has been a long time since I've written any fanfic.

I feel like I might be getting my muse back!

Another meme from MySpace...

2008-03-08T04:27:19Z

Can you tell I'm bored tonight?

How many keys are on your keychain?
Five.

If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint?
Unless I was also given some talent, nothing that would make any sense.

What do you regard as the most repulsive form of music?
Hardcore rap, heavy metal, and twangy country.

Whose mind, besides your own, would you like to control?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wouldn't YOU like to know??

What is the most dangerous occupation?
Convenience store clerk.

What is the first thing you do when you get out of bed?
Trip over my cat. Usually he's winding around my legs, trying to get me to give him his morning treat.

What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind?
Lack of common sense. (I'm echoing my friend's response on this one - AMEN, sista!!)

If you could project yourself into the past, where would you go?
1990. I'd re-do my college years.

What are you thankful you are not doing right now?
Outside driving in the snow.

What is your favorite kind of candy?
Dark chocolate.

What is your favorite thing about the beach?
I can't name just one thing. I love everything about the beach.

If you were invisible, where would you go?
To every cool concert that's coming to the area that I can't afford to attend.

What is one object in your home that you are embarrassed to own?
Not really embarrassed to own them, but my Sweet Valley books are my guilty pleasure!

Fill in the blank; When I dance, I look like:
I don't really care what I look like when I dance. I'm usually just having a good time.

Who is one person you wish you would have never met?
My friend's slimeball ex-boyfriend.

What is your favorite fruit?
Bananas.

What is your favorite kind of cookie?
Chocolate chip.

If you were an evil dictator, where would you rule?
Hmmm....I don't know.

What do you need to get right now at the drug store?
Pain medication that my dentist prescribed me. I forgot to get them today.

What song do you keep hearing over and over again?
"Indian Reservation" by Paul Revere and the Raiders on the oldies station. God, I hate that song. I hate Mark Lindsay even more.

What was the happiest age of your life?
The age I am now.

What is your favorite piece of clothing that you own?
Every pair of jeans I own. I love jeans. And my collection of flip-flops.

What two words describe your lifestyle?
Happy and chaotic. (Again stealing my friend's response to this one...)

Which ocean creature fascinates you most?
Dolphins.

On a scale of 1-10; how religious are you?
6. Though I prefer the word "spiritual."

What historical figure would you most like to have a discussion with?
John Lennon.

What color looks best on you?
Jewel tones like royal blue, bright purple, etc. Also gold and black.

What is your favorite thing about being sick?
Having an excuse to stay in bed all day.

What's new?
My boyfriend and I have reconciled; my dad has to go back into the hospital to have a defibrillator put into his chest; my sister is pregnant again; I've lost 20 lbs and 2 pant sizes since last year; I used part of my work bonus to buy myself a 26" flat screen TV.

Why are you here right now?
Because I don't feel like going to bed yet.

What commercial do you find most annoying?
I don't watch enough TV to find any commercials boring.

What was your favorite meal growing up?
Meatballs with tomato sauce on top, with mashed potatoes.

If you had to spend the rest of your life in one place, where would it be?
London, England.

Fill in the blank; I am so much smarter than:
my bosses give me credit for.

What one person or thing reminds you of the 80s?
Anything neon-colored.

What is college really good for?
Beats me. I was never able to get a job in the field I studied. I've been thinking about going back and getting a degree in something a little more pertinent to corporate life, like human resources, but I'm not sure.

Where is the most beautiful place you have ever been?
I don't think I can name just one. The Arizona desert. On the side of a mountain in Virginia. In the Hundred-Acre Wood in England. On a beach in Santa Monica, California, looking at the Pacific Ocean for the first time.

What body part aches you the most right now?
The back of my neck and my shoulders, from sitting at the computer for so long.

When is the angriest you have ever been?
When my best friend (at the time) turned on me because of a guy she was dating.

What do you waste your time doing?
Filling out memes like this.

On a scale of 1-10; how much do you trust people?
6.5

If you were forced to choose your own death, how would you die?
In my sleep.

On a scale of 1-10; how photogenic are you?
6 on a good day.

What aspect of your personality could use a little work?
I'm impatient and a bit of a control freak.

What is your greatest addiction?
Shopping, without a doubt.

What issue are you sick of hearing about?
The Presidential primaries.

If you were a professional wrestler, what would your ring name be?
Eden. I don't know why, it popped into my head.

What language would you like to master?
Spanish. I know a bit of it, but I would love to be fluent.

What is your favorite dish at a Chinese restaurant?
Shrimp with lobster sauce, but it has to be the brown sauce, not the clear. Otherwise it's chicken fried rice. And I looove egg rolls.

Who would you least likely expect a phone call from?
Jenell.

What is the longest you have ever gone without a shower?
A day.

What is the saddest movie you have ever seen?
"Ghost," followed closely by "Titanic." I can't watch either of them, because I cry every time I do.

What time do you usually fall asleep?
Between 11 pm and midnight.

Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting?
In a fast food drive-thru.

What is the cutest animal on Earth?
Any baby animal is adorable.

Name one celebrity that has no right being a celebrity.
Britney Spears.

What hobby have you always wanted to pick up?
Knitting.

Meme stolen from a friend's MySpace page....

2008-03-08T03:59:56Z

1. Do you think people have any misconceptions about you?
I don't think it, I know it. It's human nature.

2. Do you own shoes that cost more than $100?
No. I don't buy shoes that cost more than $25, as a rule. Except for my Nikes that I bought to work out in. I think those cost me close to $60, but they were on sale.

3. Who was your last text message from?
My sister.

4. What show did you last watch?
"Judge Judy," this afternoon.

7. Do you get shy around the guy/girl you like?
Yes, normally. Not so much around my boyfriend since we've been dating for over 2 years now.

8. Do you remember what you were doing a year ago today?
Heck no. I can barely remember what I was doing the day before yesterday.

11. Do you have family problems?
Doesn't everyone?

12. Where are most people in your top friends from? (Or your flist, if you're using LJ)
The majority of the people in my top friends list at MySpace are people I know in my everyday life, or people I found that I used to know. My flist here at LJ is mostly people I know from Long_Title, or American Idol communities.

15. What are you doing at this exact moment?
Listening to Friday Night 80s on my favorite local radio station.

17. What's the weather like outside?
Cold and snowing.

18. Have you ever seen a 3D movie in theaters?
Yeah, it was one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Can't remember which one it was, but it was in 3D.

19. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas or Halloween

21. Do you text with T9 or ABC?
ABC

22. Have you memorized your social security number?
Yes. That was what we were known by when I went to colllege, so I memorized it pretty quickly.

23. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
Yes. Many times in my life.

25. What was the last advice you gave someone?
Do what you need to do for yourself and don't worry about what other people think.

28. Why are you doing this instead of something else?
Because I don't feel like cleaning or putting laundry away.

29. Are you on youtube?
If this means do I have a YouTube account, then yes.

31. What's the last food you ate that had salt on it?
French fries.

32. What are you watching?
Nothing right now.

33. What did you do yesterday?
Worked, ran a couple of errands for my dad, ate dinner, went over to my boyfriend's and watched a movie with him, came home and went to bed.

34. Would you ever consider having a relationship with a good friend?
My boyfriend and I were friends before we started dating, so yes.

35. What piercings do you want to get?
My ears are double-pierced, my bellybutton is pierced, and I used to have my tongue pierced. Can't think of anything else at the moment except for the top of my right ear. Haven't decided yet.

36. Have you ever seen your friend cry?
I've seen several of my friends cry before.

37. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My sister, when I was worried about my dad's surgery.

38. Can you do a push-up?
Yes.

39. Have you ever had a panic attack?
Yes.

40. Name the last time you played beer pong?
I don't even know what beer pong is.

41. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown?
Never moved away from it.

42. Describe your laugh?
Genuine.

44. Who sings the song you last sang?
The Beatles.

45. Plans for this weekend?
Absolutely nothing tomorrow except curling up with a pile of books and DVDs. Sunday: going to work out at the gym in the AM, spending the afternoon with my mom, my sister, and my nephew.

46. How was last weekend?
Sadly, I can't even remember what I did last weekend. I guess it was okay.

48. What are you listening to right now?
My favorite radio station plays nothing but 80s music every Friday from 5 pm to midnight, so that's what I'm listening to now. I'm a sucker for anything 80s - brings back so many memories!

49. What color are your underwear?
Gray with gray buttons on the front, and a white waistband with thin black stripes.

50. Do you like anyone right now?
I like lots of people right now. Like everyone on my flist, for example. :)

Highlight of my morning....

2008-03-04T12:51:31Z

I heard on the radio this morning that Simon Cowell was offered $2 million to advertise a product but turned it down flat.
The product?

Viagra.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Apparently he said he didn't need to use it and felt he was being insulted by being asked to advertise it.

This, of course, completely made my morning.

I've got loads of news for you guys but no time to post it - I'll try to get on later and give you the dirt! :)

Writer's Block: Who Pays the Deducitble?

2008-02-22T20:21:19Z

You crash your friend's car because you're driving too fast in bad weather. Everyone's okay, but the car has to go into the shop. Do you pay the deductible?

View other answers

This is a no-brainer. Of course I would. It would have been my fault for driving too fast in bad weather, and I wouldn't stick any of my friends with the deductible if I was responsible for the accident.

Writer's Block: Happily Ever After?

2008-02-15T21:36:15Z

How did you spend Valentine's Day?

View other answers

At my apartment with Steve. We made popcorn and watched "Music and Lyrics." Highly recommend the movie. Overall a nice quiet evening in.

Writer's Block: Weekend Plans

2008-02-09T02:56:13Z

What are your plans for this weekend?

View other answers

Tomorrow - working 7 am to 3 pm at Kohl's, then going to the gym for my workout, stopping to check on my dad, and then going home to get ready and see All 4 It play in McClure.

Sunday - working 9 am to 2 pm, then picking up my dad and brother and bringing them to the apartment for dinner and movies. Dad hasn't seen the Simpsons movie yet and he really wants to, plus he's getting bored hanging around the house.

Somewhat of a moral dilemma....

2008-02-06T21:52:28Z

I'm toying with the idea of putting in my two weeks' notice at Kohl's tonight.

There are several reasons, really.

One is that I just plain am tired of working two jobs. My hours at Kohl's haven't been as crazy lately as they were at Christmastime, but they have scheduled me every Saturday and Sunday since I started in Novemeber (usually mornings) and I would like to have my weekends off again. I'm tired of racing between downtown (where my Libbey job is) to the apartment to my Dad's house to take care of him to Kohl's. I need to eliminate this feeling that I don't have any time to myself anymore.

Two is that there are a couple of managers there (one of them being the general manager) that I am finding it harder and harder to deal with. I was told I had to cover my tattoos on my arms because they were "offensive." Give me a break, it's two angels, Tigger, and Chinese characters. There is nothing in the dress code that says "no tattoos," plus they have two girls working there with facial piercings that don't have to be taken out when they work. Plus both of these managers have gotten particularly snippy with me when I've asked them simple questions, and they like to micro-manage. I've worked retail for a good portion of my life; I know how to run a service desk at this point.

But the main reason is because now they are really pushing us to get customers to fill out applications for credit cards. It's now mandatory for those of us that run registers (whether at POS or Customer Service) to get one credit app for every 3 hours we work, and all department people have to have one credit app for every 15 hours they work. We have been told to tell the customers that it's not a credit card, it's a "customer loyalty card"; that we are not encouraging people to abuse or overspend on the card, but to "extend their income." I call it bullshit and I'm pretty pissed off about it. Asking people if they want to sign up for a card is one thing; forcing us to and then telling us to lie to the customers is another. And I for one am not comfortable AT ALL about doing it. I got the same spiel when I was in college and so I signed up for a bunch of credit cards. It's screwed up my credit all the way to now - I've got a bankruptcy on my record, and I'm fighting to get caught up on the cards I have now. I've vowed that I'm not using any more credit cards unless I pay them off right away, and I'm not signing up for any more. The pressure for credit apps at Kohl's was so bad the other night that one of the managers asked me to sign up for one just to help us meet our goal for the day. I did it, only because I knew I would be declined, and she was pressuring me to talk to the one manager this week because all Kohl's employees get cards. I DON'T WANT A CARD. I DON'T WANT TO SIGN OTHER PEOPLE UP FOR CARDS.

Sigh.

Sorry for the rant, but I am not going to beg people to put themselves in debt for the lousy $7 an hour they're paying me.

I'm a bit nervous about quitting because the extra $50 or so a week it pulls in does help when I'm between paychecks at Libbey. That's why I said this is a bit of a moral dilemma. But when I dread going there, and I know in my heart that what they want me to do isn't right, I have to go with my heart.

I have a good amount coming in on my income taxes, and we may be getting another bonus this year. That would help pay off a good portion of my bills and give me extra money each month. Plus I plan on getting the car refinanced, and working on some other ways I can cut down in some ways to make a more manageable budget.

Wish me luck. I think I'm going to do it.

EDIT: I did it. Luckily one of the managers I like was closing tonight, and I told her that I was putting in my two weeks' notice. I told her that working two jobs was just getting to be too hard for me right now, with my dad not being well and all, and I felt I needed to leave. She was very understanding - she had me put it in writing so she could put it in my file in case I ever needed to come back - and gave me my 90 days' review. Which was pretty good except I had missed 2 days from having the flu and was five minutes late one day because I got stuck in traffic due to an accident. So the week after next will be my last at Kohl's.

Writer's Block: Super Bowl 2008

2008-02-05T04:23:27Z

Did you watch the Super Bowl last night? Who did you watch it with?

View other answers

Yes, all but the first quarter of the game. I started off watching it at home with the cat, then ended up over at Steve's house watching it with him. We've sort of reconciled - we still have things to work on, both of us - but we're going to see how things go. Day by day right now but I'm okay with that.

Brief post

2008-01-24T03:34:29Z

Dad's home.

Finally.

After the doctors dicked around all day, they finally released him at about 8 pm tonight, and I spent the next hour running around trying to find a pharmacy that was open for me to get his medication. Ended up finding a Kroger's and the pharm guys there were SUPER nice; they ended up giving my dad a new glucose meter for free (there was a coupon) and it uses the same test strips he already has.

Anyway, he was lying on the couch when I left, resting, with the dog happily lying her head on his leg. She was so thrilled when he walked in the door I'm amazed that she didn't pee all over the place.

I'm tired so I'm heading off to bed. Will post more when I have time.

Love you all,
Cin

Latest update on Dad

2008-01-18T12:34:41Z

Very quickly since I'm at work...

We had been thinking that he would be coming home today, but the doctors decided that they want to put a pacemaker in. Before his surgery, he had times where his heart felt as if it were fluttering or skipping beats. The doctors had hoped that with the surgery this would go away, but it has actually gotten worse. They decided they wanted to put in a small pacemaker (about the size of a quarter) and the soonest they can do that is Monday. So it's looking like sometime next week before he will be home.

Dad is doing well though - he's in good spirits, joking with the nurses, and he says his only real major pain is coming from the three drainage tubes they have in him, more so than his chest. His color looks better than it has in a while, and they have him getting up and moving around so he's not just lying around in bed all day.

I'll continue to keep you all updated but once again, thanks for all your prayers and positive thoughts. I truly believe it made a difference in this case.

Writer's Block: A Profound Impact

2008-01-18T12:30:22Z

Who has had a profound musical impact?

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Both Elvis and the Beatles, of course. They inspired whole new genres of music and generations of musicians, and their songs are still being covered by artists today, 40-50 years later.

I don't think there's any group/artist out there right now that will have that kind of longevity or make that kind of mark on society.

Writer's Block: My Sixth Grade Jam

2008-01-17T17:36:34Z

What was your favorite song in sixth grade? What does it make you think of?

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"Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. It reminds me of how much simpler things were when I was a kid, and how complicated I thought life was at the time.

Writer's Block: Best. Concert. Ever.

2008-01-15T11:01:36Z

What's the best concert you've ever been to?

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Hands-down tie between Robbie Williams in Chicago, and Aerosmith at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit.

The longest day...

2008-01-15T03:32:31Z

...but thank God it's over.

I took a half day from work and went over to the hospital to meet my sister after grabbing some lunch. I found the waiting room she said she was in but she wasn't there. Luckily the woman at the desk had been waiting for me and took me into the Cardiac Recovery Room where my sister was at with my dad and the nurse taking care of him. Dad was sedated and on a breathing machine, plus he had an external pacemaker to help regulate his heart. The nurse explained that my dad had done very well during the surgery - his vitals were better than what they normally saw in someone who had a triple bypass done (yes, that's what they ended up doing on him). We talked briefly to his anesthesiologist, who stopped by to check on him, and the surgeon who worked on him. The surgeon said that he thought he had seen some heart damage when they first went in to do the bypass, but after they did the surgery, Dad's heart looked good. My sister asked if Dad would have had a heart attack if he hadn't gotten in when he did and the surgeon responded that Dad would have died if he hadn't come in when he did. The nurse said she would be watching him all day to make sure he was all right, and they would call us if there were any changes.

Tonight I took my brother over there, and Dad was no longer sedated. He wasn't coherent, but he was able to nod or shake his head when we asked him questions. He was at the lowest level on the breathing machine, so he's mostly breathing on his own. The nurse said after we left they were going to remove the tube and clean him up a bit because he was covered in iodine. He knew we were there - I told him Tim and I were there, and told him to relax because he was starting to get anxious. We could tell because his blood pressure started to go up, and he was working his lips like he wanted to talk. The nurse asked him if he was feeling pain again and he nodded, so she gave him some meds. We decided to go and we both kissed him goodbye. He may get moved into a private room tomorrow; the nurse said it will all depend on if the surgeon feels he's doing well enough to be moved out of the recovery room.

I'm just glad that he got through the surgery and that so far he seems to be doing very well. It makes me believe more than ever in the power of prayer and positive thought. My mom said that she talked to him yesterday and he was very confident that he was going to come out of this fine. I think that also played a big part in his recovery so far.

I'll continue to keep you all updated. Right now I'm exhausted, so I think I may hit the hay. Night!

Meme bandwagon...

2008-01-12T05:25:14Z

Snagged from a few people on my flist....

*Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...
*They have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. (WHICH BY THE WAY IS HARD IF YOU ALREADY READ THEIR ANSWERS) You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl.

1. What is your name: Cindy

2. 4 letter word: Cats

3. Vehicle: Corvette

4. A city: Cleveland

5. Boy Name: Christopher

6. Girl Name: Celine

7. drink: Coffee

8. Occupation: Construction worker

9. Something you wear: Cape

10. Celebrity: Christina Aguilera

11. Food: Crepes

12. Something found in a bathroom: Cup

13. Reason for Being Late: Car accident

14. Cartoon Character: Cathy

15. Something you shout: Christ on a pony! (My friend used to say it all the time and I kind of picked it up from her...)

16. Animal: Cat

17. Body part: Clavicle

18. Word to describe you: Creative

New update...

2008-01-12T04:57:52Z

Well, I talked to my dad today and this is what is going on. They did the heart catheter and found that two of the four chambers of his heart are blocked. That is why he's been having dizzy spells (which he had chalked up to his diabetes) and problems breathing. They are keeping him in the hospital and pumping him full of antibiotics to rid him of the pneumonia, and then on Monday they are doing bypass surgery. He told me that they don't know yet if it will be double bypass, triple bypass, etc.; they more than likely won't know until they open him up and get a look.

The surgery will be at 7:30 in the morning and last about three to four hours, maybe longer depending on how it all goes. They'll keep him probably until next Friday or Saturday, and then he's going to be off work for 6-8 weeks, with no driving. I already got his paperwork for his medical leave/HMLA from the human resources office today; all we have to do is fill it out once he gets home.

I decided, with my dad's blessing, to not go to the hospital on Monday and go to work. They've already given me shit about missing for being sick, and my dad said I would end up spending most of the day just sitting around the hospital anyway. He'll be in surgery most of the morning, and out of it most of the night. Plus since he's in the hospital, I have to babysit Devin for my sister that night. I have so much going on next week between both jobs, making sure my brother is taken care of, and appointments I made before this happened, that I don't even know if I'll get the chance to see my dad in the hospital. Which, quite honestly, is fine with me - I have a horrible phobia about hospitals ever since my grandmother passed away when I was 17.

I'm trying so hard to keep it together and be the responsible one, but I am scared to death about this. My dad and I are really close and I don't know what I would do if, God forbid, something happened and he didn't come out of this. Work is going to be hell all week, especially Monday, but it'll be better than sitting around the hospital. At least I'll have something to occupy me while I worry.

Please, please, please, say a prayer for my dad this weekend and especially on Monday morning. I like to think that the more positive vibes that head his way, the better his chances are of coming out of this with no complications.

Thanks.

Love,
Cin

Update on my dad

2008-01-11T19:23:45Z

I talked to Dad today at the hospital. He's having the heart catheter done this afternoon to check on how bad the blockage is. They're giving him medication for the pneumonia, and they're working with him on his regular medication to get him on generic versions so he can afford it. They also may replace the stints that they put in his chest for his previous blockage. He sounded good on the phone and he may be coming home this weekend.

So...definitely good news! :)